My sweetest Anya,
Today is a cruel day. Today, we say goodbye one more time,
as we prepare to bury you. The world really isn’t as it should be. Today, me
and your mom should be exhausted from being up at all hours to feed you. We
should be celebrating your (almost) two weeks of life.
In a few short months, we should celebrate your eating your
first solid foods. There are many celebrations we will not get to have. Your
first steps, your first words. The first time you make a drawing that we stick
on the fridge. Your first visit to the
library. Our first vacation together. Your first day of school. I could go on.
I can’t express how sorry I am about the future you will not
get to live – that we should live together.
You have left a big hole in our hearts. Wherever you are, I want
you to know that you are loved. By so many people. I want you to know that
today, I am who I am – a dad – because of you. The impact you had on my life
and your mom’s life can never be forgotten. You are part of us.
I will see you in my dreams, and in another life.
I love you.
Dad.
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