Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Empty Home

Alex started back at work today. I'm glad for him. Alex's work gives him such purpose, such vitality. It will help to heal him.

Meanwhile, here I am at home. Alone. In an empty house...

Well, almost empty... Our cat is curled up asleep a few feet away from me, and that warms my heart a little.

I can't help but imagine how this day was supposed to go. I would have tried to sneak in a shower before Alex left for work. And I would have taken care of Anya... Held her in my arms, fed her from my breast, lulled her to sleep. How I long to do those things! To fill this empty house, this silence, with cries and gurgles!

Instead, I pass the time. I read, meditate; I will have lunch with friends. I should try to find the energy to work on my art book, to channel all this sadness and hurt. But this morning I can't seem to find the courage.

So I write this. That's something at least...


  1. I don't know you but my heart aches for you. I will light a candle for precious Anya tonight. May her heart run free with each and every flower of the field.

  2. Thank you so much for your kind thoughts.