Saturday, December 19, 2015

On This Day

This year is not like the last.

The memories of December 19, 2013 have become less vivid. I have been going through this month of December with joy and excitement for William's first Christmas. It's strange - the idea that this time of the year could ever really feel happy again.

Two years ago, the idea of feeling happy during the holiday season would not only have been unbelievable - it would have made me angry. Just as the happy people at the grocery store made me angry. How does the world dare go on so carelessly?

But here we are. Anya's loss is a part of us, but she is a happy part of our lives. That is something to remember, if I am ever unlucky enough to experience another difficult loss. The world can seem like a terrible place, but it will go on, and the terrible place will not be terrible forever.

Happy second birthday, dearest Anya.

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