Friday, September 18, 2015

Imagined Life

William celebrated his half-birthday on September 12. Six months old, already. Having a child really skews your sense of time. I've heard it said that a newborn slows down your perception of time going by, and I would agree. And yet, I can't believe that six months have already gone by.

Watching William discover the world around him is wonderful. The sense of wonderment looking up at a tree as the wind blows. The genuine surprise and joy when he discovers his dad's smiling face when we play Peekaboo. The smiles and laughs he gives his cousin as she keeps him entertained.

When I see them, I often wonder how Anya and William would have interacted. What kind of (almost) two year old would she have been? Jealous of the attention William is now getting? Or perhaps overprotective of her little brother? 

That world is a nice place to imagine. And it makes me wonder about the people she would have met: the other children in her class; her best friend; her first boyfriend; her future spouse.The people that she would have really impacted, and who would have impacted her.

In this world, though, she won't get to meet them. They are still very real, of course, but they will go through life without ever crossing paths with her. They won't even know to be sad for losing what they came so close to getting. It makes me wonder about who in this world I might have met, throughout my life, had circumstances been just a little different.

I am grateful for how many people my beautiful daughter's short life has positively impacted. Can her legacy make up for the impact that she would have brought others? Somehow, I doubt it. But I hope so.


  1. Son héritage se vit aussi dans les changements qu'elle a apporté en vous, qui fait que tous les deux, vous interagissez différemment avec le monde (dans le sens de world) et les autres. Vous aurez, au fil du temps, une relation différente donc, un impact différent sur les gens que vous côtoyez, qui sera le fruit de l'héritage d'Anya.

  2. Merci Francine, c'est un aspect important à ne pas oublier.