I've heard it said a few times now... When a person dies, you turn to the memories they left behind for comfort. When a baby dies there are few memories, and a lifetime of "should have been" to mourn.
When I think of Anya, I think of a baby growing inside me and of a newborn in my arms. I also think of a toddler taking her first steps, a young girl on her first day of school, a teenager heartbroken in my arms, a mother. I think of how proud of her I would have been, and I think of all the decisions she would have made that I might not have agreed with. I think of how happy she might have been, and I think of all the love that would have surrounded her. Anya is all that she was and all that she may have been.
We have two ultrasounds and one day's worth of pictures of Anya. Most of my memories of her are abstract feelings that exist only inside my heart. Still, Anya was in our lives for a whole nine months; longer even, as her story began when Alex and I decided to start a family. And I wanted to bring Anya's story to life.
I started creating an album. An album filled, not only with photos, but with emotion and art. This album has also become a way of working through my grief... Of expressing the intense feelings, for which I simply can't find words. It has been an outlet for my love. It has been a lifeline.
Now, I share this album with you: Art Album for Anya
To commemorate the four months that will have passed since Anya came into our lives, Alex and I will be hosting a special event on Saturday, April 19. We will be inviting friends and family who have been touched by Anya or by our story to come and make a page of their own to add to my scrapbook. All materials will be provided. Please message Alex or I if you are interested in joining us for this special day.