Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Creating Occasions for Happiness

Spring will be here soon. We all hope... And with spring comes renewal.

I had been dreading spring for the better part of the past 3 months. Spring means moving forward, leaving behind Anya's winter and continuing to live, while our daughter doesn't. This season that belongs to Anya is difficult to leave behind. I feel the universe pushing me forward, though part of me isn't ready. But as the weeks go by, I also feel my desire for fun and happiness returning; slowly, inconsistently, surely.

Alex and I have been capitalizing on this desire, motivating and disciplining ourselves to do something fun.

We have revived our cooking challenge. Each week, we decide on a theme and cook something new.

We tapped our maple tree for sap, in the hopes of collecting enough for a "sugaring off" party and bit of maple syrup!

We went on a fabulous Caribbean cruise and finally got some sunshine. How that sunshine has made all the difference!

There is good in moving forward. There is the possibility of life, of happiness. There is the feeling of hope that comes with looking to the future. There is confidence; the confidence that I can look back on our joyful time with Anya, without crumbling at the thought of her death.

So many adventures and so much love await our family (of two? three? I am never sure. Someday more?). If only we are lucky enough to continue to live.


  1. Balls! Delicious, delicious balls!

    1. Out of context one might think, spam? Alas no. Balls!

    2. You're doing well. Baby steps. Take your time but don't be afraid to move forward. You aren't leaving Anya behind and you won't forget her. You'll take her with you.

    3. Thank you so much for your continued support!